5.
Aftermaths*
2021
Photo book from a long lost summer.
*Walking shoeless through heavy sand
the colours changing from a blueish grey to a light pink
the colours intensifying as the ocean swallows the sun
the colours fading from a vibrant red to a dark blue
“Red at night, a sailors delight”
the moon lighting the path
continuing
Hopefully finding a way back home
*Laying on your bed in dead silence
thinking about my breathing
trying not to move
your sheets smelling different
counting to 300 in my head
hoping this will make me fall asleep
the night feeling endless
the sun eventually coming up
leaving into the busy street
looking at you standing in the door
knowing that I don’t want to see you ever again
letting out a sight of relief
*Crying for 6 hours
changing the sheets to remove your smell
flooding my sheetless bed
regretting it
the room feeling wrong
the bed feeling wrong
staying there all day anyway
eventually stopping the crying
applying dry sheets
going back to bed
*Meeting up with an ex
choosing not to
end up going anyway
*Being seen in a new way
thinking about you
*Returning home
recovering
feeling a weird sense of emptiness
deciding to go out
finding both my bike tires punctured
returning to my bed
spending the next 18 hours staring into the ceiling